I've been at my new job for 4 weeks now. It is in no way going to become a career for me. That I know for certain. It's not what I want to do.
With how I'm feeling currently it may not last for much longer at all. I know it's early days but I feel that for every small thing I get right I get something wrong five times as large.
Today I was acosted by the manager for first of all being too slow with the task I was doing and then for having done the wrong task in the first place.
Last week I was told off for not knowing where enough of our products were for the customers. I've been making efforts to get better but it just doesn't seem worth it.
I really didn't think things would hit me this hard but I just don't seem to be able to cope with it. I think maybe I'm still too naive, even at the age of 22.
I don't dislike the work, I just hate the way the manager lets you know something is wrong. He makes me feel like I can do nothing right which just makes me doubt myself more and thus begins the downward spiral of misery.
I have three days off now and I know I will be feeling better by the time I go back to work on Wednesday but I also know that it's only a matter of time before I make another stupid cockup.
See? Already doubting myself again.
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